20 months later
Welcome, let me give you a quick run down on what is going on with me.
I got pregnant in Dec 2004 with my first child. At my 12wk visit I was told that the baby had died at 10.5wks and had a d&c two days later on March 4th. I tried for 8 months after that and then finally saw a new dr. She gave me clomid, estrogen and progesterone. I did this for 2 months and then found out I was pregnant again February 2006. I miscarried naturally 5 days later. In June I went and saw a Reproductive Endocrinologist and she diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycyctic Ovarian Syndrome). Which basically means I don't ovulate. She did a lot of blood work to check for things that may have caused the miscarriages and everything came back normal. She put me on clomid and had me come in every few days for sonograms to check and see if I was ovulating. They told me that I didn't ovulate that cycle and if I didn't start by cd 35 to do a test and the would put me on some medication. Well cd35 came and I wasn't pg and so I got the meds. This will have been the thrid time in my life that I have needed medical intervention to start my period.
This is the rollercoaster that the Lord has had me on for 20 months now. I have had my times of being angry with Him and then deciding I have nothing else except Him. He has brought me to a place of complete and utter brokeness. A place I would not wish on my enemy. My life is a constant reminder of what I have lost and what I do not have. I am surrounded by it daily. The Lord has brought me to a place where I have no one else besides Him. I had to understand that He is bigger than the drugs and the drs. At a women's retreat I went to a couple of weeks ago they asked us "What is the Lord asking you to sacrifice?" And my answer was clearly my desire to have a child. So I have given it all to Him. I am not in control of when and how I will get pregnant. So that is where I am today. It is cd 50 and I have not started and I am not pregnant. I am trying to find the joy of the Lord and walk in His peace, but it is really hard at times.
I got pregnant in Dec 2004 with my first child. At my 12wk visit I was told that the baby had died at 10.5wks and had a d&c two days later on March 4th. I tried for 8 months after that and then finally saw a new dr. She gave me clomid, estrogen and progesterone. I did this for 2 months and then found out I was pregnant again February 2006. I miscarried naturally 5 days later. In June I went and saw a Reproductive Endocrinologist and she diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycyctic Ovarian Syndrome). Which basically means I don't ovulate. She did a lot of blood work to check for things that may have caused the miscarriages and everything came back normal. She put me on clomid and had me come in every few days for sonograms to check and see if I was ovulating. They told me that I didn't ovulate that cycle and if I didn't start by cd 35 to do a test and the would put me on some medication. Well cd35 came and I wasn't pg and so I got the meds. This will have been the thrid time in my life that I have needed medical intervention to start my period.
This is the rollercoaster that the Lord has had me on for 20 months now. I have had my times of being angry with Him and then deciding I have nothing else except Him. He has brought me to a place of complete and utter brokeness. A place I would not wish on my enemy. My life is a constant reminder of what I have lost and what I do not have. I am surrounded by it daily. The Lord has brought me to a place where I have no one else besides Him. I had to understand that He is bigger than the drugs and the drs. At a women's retreat I went to a couple of weeks ago they asked us "What is the Lord asking you to sacrifice?" And my answer was clearly my desire to have a child. So I have given it all to Him. I am not in control of when and how I will get pregnant. So that is where I am today. It is cd 50 and I have not started and I am not pregnant. I am trying to find the joy of the Lord and walk in His peace, but it is really hard at times.
posted by Rian at 7:20 AM
1 Comments:
I feel for what you ar going through. I too am going through the same ordeal. It's so difficult and when I hear about other women's stories, it gives me strength. God is definitly teaching me to be patient. What we ask will be given... in His time.
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