perfect little world

So I have this friend whose life seems perfect. I know that it is not and there are things I have that she doesn't. But still if you line up are lives side by side she definately got the better end of the deal. Great parents, good childhood, finished college, great husband, gets to stay at home oh and don't let me forget, she is 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. Ruth Christine to be exact. Now while a part of me is definately happy for her. Another part of me plays the fair card again. I have been married longer, i have been ttc for almost 2 years and I have been pg twice and no baby. Now I know that life is anything but fair, but sometimes I like to have my little pity part. Hey it's my party and I can cry if I want to!!! But being the GREAT friend that I am, I will support and congratulate when she calls and she will never know that I am dying inside everytime we talk.

My biggest dream and deepest desire is to be a mother. But it goes further than that. I want to be a mother to a daughter. I want to have a little girl that Josh can adore and spoil. I want her to have the life that I was robbed of. The life of the princess. Being daddy's girl. This would be a dream come true for me. "Lord do you hear my cries, will you answer my prayer???"