10.12.2006
So today is one of the dreaded days. The ESTIMATED DUE DATE. There are five days out of the year that I hate and today is one of them. Besides the fact that I should have already, or about to have a baby, i feel like crap today. I thought I was getting better on Tuesday but yesterday I felt awful and this morning I felt like I got run over by a truck. So it is a great day all around. I am ready for the time that I can think about a due date with joy and happiness instead of pain and sorrow. When will my time come? Will it ever come at all? Who says I will even have children? Nobody. There are no gaurantees in this life, and that drives me crazy. So I will continue down the trail of trying to have a baby but not be overly obsessed with it that it consumes my whole, and make it look like I am doing a good job at that but secretly it is all I ever think about.
posted by Rian at 11:34 AM
1 Comments:
Haven't forgotten you and am still praying everyday for you. Sorry it has been a rough week. I have found myself petitioning God on your behalf even though I don't know you at all. I keep thinking how there are women out there who are lousy mothers and don't want to have kids and there are those like yourself who want one soooo badly and would make the most wonderful loving moms. I guess we will never know the answer but it can be disheartening.
I've wrote it before and I will continue to say, I can't wait to read your birth announcement post!
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