I OVULATED!!!!!!

So I'm pretty sure the world is coming to an end!! I did ovulate. I am not pregnant, but my period showed up exactly 14 days after I thought I ovulated. I am so happy. My prayer has been that even if I don't get pg please let me at least be regular and God heard and answered. I am praying the same will happen this cycle. It was so nice to have a 34 day cycle instead of a 120 day cycle. It gives me so much more hope that I may be able to get pregnant when I ovulate. So here's hoping it happens again this month.

The first time I got pregnant we conceived on December 26. I remember it well because we were staying with Josh's parents and the room we usually stay in was messy so they wanted us to sleep in the living room on an air mattress and I was freaking out because I knew I would be ovulating then. It got all worked out thankfully and we concieved our first child that night. Sadly we lost that child 2 short months later. Our second pregnancy was conceived in January. So this time of year makes a little more hopeful. I would love to get pregnant this month and be due the same month as my first one. That would just seem special to me.

It is so hard for me to believe that it has been two years since my first pregnancy. I look back at that with jealousy. How happy I was. How I didn't know what HCG meant or what my progesterone levels were. How I thought that as long as I wasn't cramping and bleeding I was ok. How I thought since I was less than a week away from the 2nd trimester that I was ok. Oh how naive I was then. And how sad I am now that I will never be able to experience that worry free pregnancy that so many other women get. I know too much and it will take the grace of God to keep me sane in my next pregnancy. But I know He can do it and I will rely on Him and I will enjoy every moment that I get to be with that baby regardless of what may happen.